and God comes through in the clutch
i've told many people about my little adventure this weekend in bits and pieces but i really wanted to share more about how God worked.

on Saturday i headed up to Santa Barbara to see Marieke and her church. it was a cool time, meeting her family, visitng her church, seeing the area and hanging out with folks from church. i'll probably blog more about some cool things i was reminded of at her church later.

around 10:30 or so i headed down the road because it was getting late and i thought i needed to be at church all Sunday. i was really hoping to get some time to spend reading the Bible and digging into some passages on Sunday but it looked like a busy day.

things were going ok as i went down the road. it was raining pretty heavy but i was careful and made my way past Camarillo and up some fairly steep hills. about half the way up i heard a loud metalic noise and it sounded like my car shifted into Model T mode, sputtering and puttering away.

God was good. it all happened right before an exit with a gas station and motel so i pulled of, knowing i might need to stop for the night and hoping it wasn't something really serious. i stopped at the first station i saw and called my dad who had some experience in these things. God was good and I was able to get a hold of him at an odd hour. after checking things out i called AAA and waited. thankfully i was out of the rain under the pump overhang and in a well-lit area. it turned out that the tow truck guy recommended the place i was at as one of the better stations in the area, even though it wasn't on the AAA list, talking about making my life easy.

so he dropped me off at a hotel on the other side of the freeway and i got a room. i have to admit i was a bit leery. it was really run down and all i could think about was the "flea-bag" hotels of the movies. so i went to the room and tried to open the door. it wouldn't open. i tried again. no budge. i tried once more. suddenly a man appeared and banged on the window. i was totally scared but showed him my key with his room number and then went to get a different key from the front desk. thankfully the other guy let it slide and wasn't a crazy.

after finally getting some rest and a hot shower (such a great blessing on a morning after that mess) i headed over to the station that housed the garage, turned over my key and made a few phone calls from the strip mall parking lot nearby. it turned out be a place for a few more small blessing as i looked up to see a hugh, vibrant rainbow right over the strip mall. talk about a reminder of God's love and faithfulness at an appropriate time, but it didn't stop there.

i turned around and noticed an older gentleman was in the parking lot drinking some coffee from a gas station, though i could tell he got it somewhere else down the road and it didn't seem he had any reason to be there. i figured it was Sunday so I'd ask him about church. why not? turns out he went to a church down the road. not only that but he was kind enough to give me a ride.

so i got to go to church, a pretty cool one at that. all of this in the middle of nowhere. that's a whole other post, but again, God was great. i was really encouraged and taught there.

the rest of the day God continued to be good. I found a special deal on food because it was raining. there was a coffee shop, hardware store, computer store and department store there to window shop in. i got plenty of good exercise walking around. i was told about a coupon to get a discount on my second night's stay at the hotel. i had another good night's rest. and the list goes on.

to the end God was good. it turns out the repair made Monday morning was minor and i returned in one piece. so many times it's these small things in life that exhibit God's goodness. pershaps i can express that more eloquently later.

can i just say...
that God has given me some rocking friends? today i went to a ceremony where my one friend was honored with others by the county DA's office. it seems she's been acting as a witness/victim advocate for minor's related crimes. one of the coolets things i think i heard was that God had really provided her with an empathetic nature that helped promote justice and was a testimony to the people around here.

then i had supper with some great folks and caught some coffee later. just some great times of real conversation and loving on each other that we all needed.

top it all off with accountability time tomorrow AM and the rest of the day hanging with Marieke, her family and her church and i'm just really thankful for all the cool friends that God has put me in touch with.

fun with gas

well, in case you're one of the folks who saw me disappear suddenly, i just left the office (Feb18 10:30 PST) due to a gas leak in a neighboring construction site. bummed to drop a conversation but it was a good excuse to get out of the office and work at a local coffee shop for a while since i don't know when they'll get that mess sorted out.

pickin up the sword again

each day is like a battle sometimes. it's not that i have people opposing my work, but that willpower and discipline is a lesson often not learned in our youth. on days like today, i put a picture of God's beauty on my desktop and pick up a poem like this one by Frost.

A Prayer in Spring

OH, give us pleasure in the flowers to-day;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.
Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.
And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.
For this is love and nothing else is love,
The which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfil.

there is beauty around me that provdes joy for the steps ahead.

testing...

i've had some problems with my bloggar software recently that allows me to post without opening up the blogger site. hopefully a code change i've made per their request is the problem.

lyrics of another sort

i've heard this song many times on the radio and have always loved the cadence and sounds but i read the lyrics today and was a bit disturbed, empathetic and sad simultaneously.

i'm rather clueless about AFI. i don't know what they value or believer about life. what i hope you notice as you read the lyrics below is the depth of love we sometimes feel for others. i've been at places where i cared enough about a person to pray that i could take their burden. that part of me feels some sense of empathy here.

another part of me sees the flaw in all our thinking. we hope that we can take the sin of some other person and might even think some are beyond sin. clearly that's not true.

so where does this leave me? no where really. just pondering love and a song i suppose.

I...I came here by day, but I left here in darkness
And found you, found you on the way
And now, it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold
You, in somber resplendence, I hold

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
oh As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one

Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me
As you're longing to sing
So I..I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in cold
I will lift up your voices as I sink

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
oh As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me

Cold in life's throes, I'll fall asleep for you
Cold in life's throes, I only ask you turn away
Cold in life's throes, I'll fall asleep for you
Cold in life's throes, I only ask you turn
As they seep... into me, oh, my beautiful one, now

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
oh As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me)
Your sins into me... oh

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into...
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one

(RM audio / WMP audio)
both care of the official AFI site

a good Valentines Day reminder from a friend
this was shared with me by a good friend and i offer it to you. see? i'm not completely cynical?

To My Friends & Family Whom I Love and Cherish,

LOVE: A PARAPHRASE OF 1 CORINTHIANS 13
Here is what love is like--genuine love. God's kind of love. It's patient.
It can wait. It helps others, even if they never find out who did it. Love
doesn't look for greener pastures or dream of how things could be better if
all my current commitments ceased. Love doesn't boast. It doesn't try to
build itself up to be something it isn't. Love doesn't act in a loose,
immoral way. It doesn't seek to take, but it willingly gives. Love doesn't
lose its cool. It doesn't turn on and off. Love doesn't think about how bad
the other person is, and certainly doesn't think of how it could get back at
someone. Love is grieved deeply (as God is) over the evil in this world, but
it rejoices over truth.

Love comes and sits with you when you're feeling down and finds out what is
wrong. It empathizes with you and believes in you. Love knows you'll come
through just as God planned, and love sticks right beside you all the way.
Love doesn't give up, or quit, or diminish or go home. Love keeps on keeping
on, even when everything goes wrong and the feelings leave and the other
person doesn't seem as special anymore. Love succeeds 100 percent of the
time.

Happy Valentine's Day!

yep still here
well, i'm a bit lacking in inspiration tonight but it should be mentioned that things are going fine. Valentines is of course coming up but i have no strong feelings on the matter. i haven't been burned in a relationship and though i'd be happy to be in one don't see any open doors.

really this holiday is an amalgamation of a host of pagan tradition, Vatican-imposed cover up, veneration of a saint (there are a few called Valentine) and the commercial desires of shop-keepers everywhere. i think it's great when Christ-followers redeem that holiday and celebrate true love from God and the love we share with each other, romantic and otherwise. just don't expect me to think it's inherently a special day that i need to feel bad about.

an anonymous poem...

care of Poems.com.

The Birth of Christ
To find heaven in a cattle stall -
No, to find something stranger still,

To find heaven's vault has been unroofed
By an infant in a feeding trough.

i've started to ponder this poem today and i wonder. at first i thought the poem was a bit sacrilegious but looking again i smile. we have been given access to God, though we like this baby, sit in these humble surroundings. how amazing is it that heaven's vault no longer stands an impenetrable barrier to the masses? now we can all commune with God. amazing.

a glorious day
it's no secret that God's given me an especially nice lot in life right now. there are some things that are rough but for the most part He has been very gracious. now some might wonder at that statement if they considered the two years of uncertainty about the future and the very real possibility that work is going to take me away from many things i hold dear right now but then again many people fail to recognize the beauty that's around them.

today i was able to spend the morning working at a coffee shop in downtown HB after a short walk of prayer on the pier. It really was an excellent time of refreshement and an easy entry into a week. I've been given permission to do this each week so you can imagine i have reason to be happy. that four hours is just an awesome gift.

it all remiinded me of something i read on Sunday in Ecclesiastes.

"Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun {during} the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward. Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God. For he will not often consider the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart. "

so take hope. not only is there a fast approaching future that we urgently share with others. there is also a present life to take joy in. look for God's blessings and work around you. it's there.

forgive me

for post all of this but most lyric sites out there are rather ugly. stumbled on this when my sister sang it in front of our church during my time back in PA for Christmas. (as much as i love my friends and family in Christ, there is no one who understands you quite like a loving family member.) anyways, i thought it was a particularly mature song for the CCM world, especially the more traditional set. i still prefer my sister singing it but Nichole doesn't do to shaby of a job. take a listen if you get the chance.

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view
If no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessd beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace ...

But, Jesus, would You please ...

so many streams to follow
this is going to be a whopper of a post as far as mine go and i won't promise ultimate coherence. actually i like that. it reminds me that life is

"real help comes from God. your blessing clothes your people!"
i read this in Psalm 3 a few days back and it was a reminder to me that God's work has practical outworkings. beyond the excellent peace and hope we gain internally, God is living and active in real ways.

a reply to my letter
it would be unfair to post the full and vulnerable thoughts of my friend who i wrote to. i think it will be ok to post one paragraph that i think speaks very highly of the person's thoughts and motives.

"Jesus is very concerned with our emotional needs, no matter how small they are. However, I do believe that He wants us who live cushy, comfy lives in the United States to be aware of tragic, tragic situations that other people in other countries deal with. I mean, to be a 5-year-old child facing life with no parents in the middle of poverty stricken Zimbabwe is a tragedy that breaks the heart of Jesus."

all very excellent points that i'll be pondering.


lack of vision
i can't seem to find the version i remember but Prov 28:19 or so brings out a point of wisdom that i think has a broad application in life. without vision, people get off track quick.

i've noticed in a number areas of life that vision has been lacking for what i'm doing. the result often is that i stop or drastically slow down the process. now part of this speaks to my own weakness. there is always vision given by God for life in general and we are given commands of enduring and perseverence.

at the same time i think a key part of leadership is providing meaningful vision. i say meaningful because many vision statments are lofty and ambiguous. what i wouldn't give sometimes for a clear statment of practical goals. i received that tonight for one area of life and it was so refreshing. just that one clear cut goal got me fired up about many other, seemingly unrelated areas. there's more here to develop but i guess i'll do that when inspiration comes.